Divorce is a very difficult time for anyone to cope with. It can be very difficult for most people, both physically and emotionally. This is particularly true of kids. They’ve got to have the right help in this tough period. They need to know and understand that it’s not their mistake, and that both parents still love them a lot.
Mother and father will have to work hard to put aside their anger and hard feelings toward one another. They’ve got to think about making an arrangement that’s going to suit them as well as the children. It’s going to be much easier and less distressing than going to court and have them make the decision for you.
You’ve got to be able to get along with your spouse and help your children. This is the only way to help them through this difficult time. If one parent decides to go against their commitment to help their child in a responsible way, you should keep your values as a parent and help them as best you can.
You’re not supposed to keep the divorce secret from the children. You need to tell them what’s going to happen when you make your decision. At least try to give them a little notice before the parent moves out so that the child can have the time to deal with it and ask questions. Reassure the child that both parents will still be there for them, and that nothing has changed in that sense.
Don’t blame anyone when you talk to your children. Don’t put the other parent down in any way. It is important that children know that they still have two trustworthy parents to take care of. Let them know that it was a mutual decision, and that you both did your best to avoid the end.
Make your child aware that they’re not going to be able to get you both back together. Tell them there’s nothing they can do to get the situation going. Also, let them know where they’re going to live and see the other parent at any time they want to. You can tell them that there may be some changes later on, but they’re not going to affect their relationship. Give them the opportunity to ask you any questions they may have for both of you.
It is necessary to give the child the proper info and not too much information. You don’t want them to feel nervous or worry about something that’s not their concern. They’ve got to feel relaxed with the news that you told them, and give them enough time to adjust to the proposition.